the secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new

The New Normal

One of the ideas I have to fight from time to time is that if I’m not coupled up, I am not normal. It’s not necessarily that there’s something wrong with me but something just ain’t right. This idea hits me when I least expect it. I’m just minding my own business and then I realize I’m in a room filled with married people and the only other singles in the room are children and the idea resurfaces.

I’ve been on a mission to reclaim “normal” for singles. Coming out of generations where it was normal to get married straight out of high school or college, there is a new normal awaiting us to accept it. In saying hello to a new normal, we have to completely, forever and always say goodbye to the old one. That means no comparisons to the way it used to be or even the way it is now for your friends and family. It means it is straight up new!

Here are a few glances at the new normal: single people feel no shame in attending events by themselves; no one wonders “what’s wrong” with them for not being in a relationship; singles have the conviction that it is better to alone than to be in a relationship where you know you are compromising your morals just to be with them; singles have the conviction that it is better to be alone than it is to be with someone who doesn’t value, honor or cherish you; people spend more time maturing in their faith and becoming more emotionally healthy than they do looking for Mr./Mrs. Right.

What I’m trying to say, dear single person, is that the power we do have to change the unconscious perception that singles are some sort of second class citizen in this world is to change how we interact within it.

If you reading this and have gotten a little excited about creating a new normal, please leave your own ideas in the comments section about what that looks like for you.

 

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